Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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