so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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