Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
