new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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