suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
