So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
