i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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