So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
