I got chris browned last night
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
whose parrot is this?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize