Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
