I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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