Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize