She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize