omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
