I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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