Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize