i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
