Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
