So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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