I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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