I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
