I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
