just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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