I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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