so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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