Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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