That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
