i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
