Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
