she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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