as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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