thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
