I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's blow job season.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
