What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
