yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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