It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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