If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize