Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize