And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
