I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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