That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
