thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
