you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
