i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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