i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
