): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My vagina just recognized that song.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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