I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
