How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize