i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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