her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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