wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
