i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
