Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
