Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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