Do you still have your period?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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