It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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