Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize