So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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