and my herpes radar will keep us safe
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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