Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
