what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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