Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
