I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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