I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
