??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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