I wish I only lived at night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
