We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
