You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
