I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
