if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
3 2 1 whiskey
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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