she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
