it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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