Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Less talking, more tequila
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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