Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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