im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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