I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
