Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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