Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
